Q is for Questioning

Q is for Questioning

I wanted to write about why it’s so important that you should question your health care professionals - midwives, doctors, health visitors, GP’s. Because many folks I teach come to me feeling that those people have all the knowledge, all the training, all the skills, all the professional experience and are the ‘experts’ in our pregnancy, our labour, our bodies and our baby. We can also feel that to question our health care professionals is to somehow dispute all their training/experience/knowledge, to dismiss it, or that it could feel uncomfortable or even confrontational. I get it. We’ve been culturally conditioned this way from a very young age - to default to ‘authority’ and to ‘do as we’re told’ by people who know ‘best’ from being tiny children. So it can be hard to override this, but it’s so very important. Here’s why….

So yes your health care professionals are very well trained. They also have guidelines handed down to them from the hospital / birth centre they work for, that they follow with the aim of keeping mums and babies safe. They also (hopefully) read lots of research and keep their knowledge up to date too.

Plus they’ve spent years doing what they do, so they’ve seen and advised lots and lots of other mums and babies. We do of course have brilliant midwives and doctors here in the UK. They aim to help pregnant folk have the best possible outcome from their pregnancy and birth. So surely following their recommendations should be in our best interests and the right thing for us?

Well perhaps, and also perhaps not.

That’s where questioning comes in. And it is so important.

Because by asking questions of your healthcare professionals means you can feel more confident in what is being offered to you, and why it’s being offered to you.

Now if you are totally happy with what they are suggesting, then of course you don’t need to question it. But if you have any doubt at all about why it’s being offered, how this is right for you and/or your baby (as individuals at that exact point in time) then asking questions can clarify that.

If you’re now thinking back to that ‘but what about their training/knowledge/expertise. Surely they are the experts?’, then be aware of all of this too:

~ Know that YOU are also the expert in your pregnancy. You know your body, your pregnancy, and your baby better than anyone else. Because you are living it. No one else can possibly have that knowledge.

~ We all have our own unique life experiences. So what is important to us in making a decision that’s right for us, will not be the same as another humans. That’s why we make different choices in all aspects of our life - from jobs, to hobbies, to tv show we like to watch, so our healthcare preferences.. We are unique humans, our choices will be unique - just like our bodies and our babies are unique too.

~ Your decision making may come from a place of statistics, research and numbers or it may not. It may come from intuition. It may come from a combination of both, or from somewhere else. That is valid, and totally up to you.

~ Most Obstetricans work from data and numbers, they are trained to do and to work with physical input and pharmacological input. That’s their training and so what they know and do.

~ Population based studies, data and research do not translate down well to the individual mother and baby. It is unfortunately not that simple. Ever. You need to have a nuanced conversation. That’s why we have human doctors and midwives not robot doctors and midwives.

~ A health care professional does not know your future plans, and how their advice might effect that.

~ A health care professionals professional or personal experiences will influence the care and recommendations they give you. If you work in a setting where your role is to help women and babies, and your view of birth is that it is complex and difficult (ie you work in Obstetrics) then this will influence your advice and practice. But that’s not the complete picture of maternity care. What about all the low risk folks they never, ever encounter?

~ A health care professional does not have to live with the consequences of your decision. Only YOU do.

~ What has become ‘normal’ for maternity systems in the UK, is not necessarily what you want to choose or is right for you and your baby. The ‘everyday’ of certain interventions (like induction of labour) for a healthcare professional is to them very normal. They have often lost sight of of a huge intervention this is (for both mums and babies) and may not even really know how it can impact mums and babys both short and long term.

~ If someone tells you that any intervention or proceedure or drug has no risk - then they are lying. Everything has some risk. Fact. This should be a massive red flag for you about this HCP.

~ Mental health is an important as physical health. There is more to a positive birth than a physically healthy mother and baby. SO MUCH MORE

~ Ask questions to get care that is personal to you. That is the SAFEST type of maternity care.

~ Asking questions is empowering, and put you and your baby at the centre of your care

If you want to read more about how data, research and statistics are not the only and not the best ways for health care professionals to have consultations and make plans with their patients, then please read my article about Professor Hannah Fry here.

The most important thing in all of this I feel, is that you ask questions to have a nuanced conversation with your health care team. Also that they listen to what’s important to you, and then you discuss together options and choices. Because there are always options and choices, always. You can then use their knowledge and expertise yes, but also they will use your knowledge and expertise too. Because that means you have getting the personalise and individual maternity care that is so important. For both the best birth experience and for safe maternity care too.

If you don’t ask the questions, and if you don’t make your own preferences clear and have them listened to, then you’re highly likely to get ‘off the shelf’ maternity care (ie just following the hospital guidelines with little nuance of individualisation). So ask, ask, ask. Make positive and empowering choices from a place of knowledge - both external and internal. Don’t feel that you’re being ‘awkward’, ‘demanding’ or taking up too much time and space. You’re not. Yes health care professionals are busy people, yes the NHS is under pressure, but you and your baby are important. Good, safe maternity care is important.

I hope that’s helpful, and I hope it’s helped you to understand why asking questions to get the best and the safest maternity care is important.

If you want to know more about all of this, about how to get the best care for you and your baby, and understanding all your choices and options in pregnancy, labour, birth and motherhood, then do come along to my complete Antenatal & Hypnobirthing courses - all the details here.

Susan x